Side Effects

SIDE EFFECTS

Is it February 11 already? Let us review. We shall do that by heading on over to side effects.

Well, a couple of days were lost due to the vaunted side effects of chemotherapy deciding to make their grand entrance all at once. Due to the severity of the side effects, several tests need to be run.

Side effects include, but are not limited to, constipation, nausea, light-headedness (more than my normal light-headed state), and a combination of the first two. The combination makes for an interesting pressure situation in which it feels as though one's abdomen is being inflated beyond the legally mandated maximum. After an initial, abortive attempt at trying to make my way from the bathroom to the bed, the nurses would not allow me to stand on my own, not that I wanted to at that point. The old head was spinning at about 50,000 rpm on a wobbly axis.

And it gets uglier but the details are not something that need be gone in to now or in the future. However, I am sure that there is some sick someone out there who would pay money for pictures of the aftermath.

The pain was not bad at first, but it did increase. The increase was marked by the need for two shots of morphine, one at 8 mg followed by one of 2.5 mg about 25 minutes later. It is difficult to describe the pain, except to say that it was a sharp cramp whose intermittent nature was not intermittent enough. Next come all the tests, some of which cannot be run through the port but require a second site access for blood sampling. Especially looked for would be any infection, so they run every manner of examination.

The tests that need to be run include kidney function and a remote heart monitor for 24 hours. There also are the complete blood counts and electrolyte tests. None of this is very detailed, but it is as detailed as I can get through the fog of this chemo hangover. As a survivor of more than my share of major league caliber hangovers of an alcoholic nature, I can assure you, drunks get off lightly when it comes to the cure for a booze-induced hangover. You simply get some more booze or you sleep it off. Now, with a chemo hangover, asking for another shot of Platinum 5FU is quite likely the shortest and quickest route to the loony bin. I'll pass on that trip for now.